hope chest

Last week, I finally finished reading These Happy Golden Years.  You know, the last of the Little House on the Prairie Books, the one where Laura and Almanzo get hitched at the end.  I got a little sniffly around Chapter 31, when Ma and Laura put the finishing touches on Laura's new bed sheets and pillowcases, just in time for the wedding and Laura's big move to her grown-up, married life.  I just thought there was something simple and sweet about one generation helping the next put the finishing touches on a new household.  It made me a little jealous, like I was missing out on something.

And then yesterday, the package came in the mail.

My darling stepmother, in her infinite wisdom, had packed this little box full of all sorts of small, beautiful things she's collected over the years.  Linen napkins, a table runner, and crocheted doilies!  Oh, and a beautiful pair of pillow cases that Laura Ingalls would have killed for.  

I'm especially in love with this tablecloth, with its hand-stitched edge and lovely little details.

 

I like picturing a future where I might--I don't know--need a table runner.  Or some gorgeous napkins.  I like imagining the life that we could have, with these little handmade details sprinkled around the edges.

It might sound silly, but the whole thing, along with a sweet note from my stepmom, was enough to make me feel connected, and it gave me the sense that our home--which, don't get me wrong, has been our home together for years now--was somehow more complete.

I don't know.  Maybe it just made me feel loved.  

hooray

I've been waiting all week to tell you about one of last weekend's more exciting moments: I won something!  More importantly, I won something that we needed!  Boutonnieres for my man and his brothers/groomsmen!  Just when I was starting to think about making some, I entered this contest that Mouse was hosting over at Souris Mariage.  And then I won!  How great is that?

It's pretty great.  I wasn't feeling very inspired about boutonnieres, and my big plan was to put the project off until the last possible moment, just in case a good idea finally occurred to me.  I was thinking of using fabric.  Or maybe paper.  To be honest, I wasn't thinking very hard about anything at all.  I just couldn't figure out what we should have.

My partner-in-crime, however, was pretty sure he knew what we needed.  A sheriff's badge for him and deputy badges for his two brothers.  I thought it was a fine plan, but finding the right badges turned out to be harder than we thought it would be.  Ebay and Etsy were both full of either extremely expensive collectibles or cheap plastic junk made for a seven year-old's birthday party.

And then there was the fact that my man's desire for a sheriff's badge led to the desire for cap guns.  And for our officiant--my hero of a brother--to wear a big black hat with a wide flat brim.  "Like the preacher on Little House of the Prairie," said my husband-to-be.  To which I said, among other things, "no."

But now, we have one less thing to worry about.  Lovely, handmade boutonnieres that will hold up well in the late-June heat.  They even have buttons on them!  My man and I both agree that these will do just fine.  Big thanks to Mouse and to the good folks at Eventcetera!  We're truly grateful.

the polls

Our RSVP postcards asked--politely--for a reply by the 1st of May.  There are still a few of them out there in the universe that haven't come back yet, but I was prepared for that, and I'm certainly not panicking.

What I have been a little anxious about, though, are the results of the multiple choice question we posed to our potential guests.  Along with asking folks how many people there will be in their party, and whether or not they're vegetarian, we also asked them to tell us which couple they'd most like to see us embrace as romantic role models.

Here are the standings so far:

Romeo & Juliet haven't gotten any votes at all.  That's alright; I'm not sure they really deserve anything.

Only one vote so far for Sid & Nancy.  Again, maybe that's for the best.  Those kids didn't exactly make the best life choices, either.

Jim & Pam have edged ahead--by just one vote!--of Princess Buttercup and Westley.

And, of course, Ma & Pa Ingalls are headed for a landslide victory.  I'm biased, naturally, but I do think they're the best choice.  As one of our beloved respondents pointed out, "They love each other and are a realistic couple!"

If you've been reading, you know that I'm already cultivating a Ma Ingalls-like serenity.  All my man has to do is grow out his beard and learn the fiddle and we'll be set.

There are still votes coming in.  I'll keep you posted of any significant new developments.  In the meantime, here are a few of my favorites from the write-in candidates:

Wall-E and Eve

Clarence and Alabama

Anna and The King of Siam

Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young

Frog and Toad

The Curies (minus the radiation)

Cliff and Claire Huxtable

If you haven't voted, now's your chance.  Feel free to comment below...

names

There's a big, complicated conversation going on today over at A Practical Wedding, "On Name Changing and Weddings."  If you are someone who has no opinion whatsoever on whether or not a woman should take her husband's last name when she marries, then I sincerely doubt that you are a living, breathing person.

This is a contentious subject for all of us, and my generation seems to have inherited a lion's share of doubts, confusion, anger, and worry about the issue.  Skimming through the hundreds of replies to the APW post is incredibly engrossing.  It's a reminder of how deeply personal the decision has become for us as women, for our partners, and yes, for our hypothetical children.*

I'm changing my name.  This may come as a surprise to some who know me, but others--who recall that my last name rhymes with "underwear" and is synonymous with a forest animal--will understand that I've never been all that enamored with my "maiden" name.  Especially as a third-grader.

Maybe I'd feel differently if I were an only child, but I have brothers to carry on the "family" name.  (I did briefly consider taking my mother's maiden name as a second middle name, because I am one of the last branches of that particular tree, but I've never followed through on the idea.)

My man has told me all along that the decision of whether or not to take his last name was mine--which I already knew, of course--but now that I've decided to go ahead and do it, it seems like he's glad that's where I landed.

We talked vaguely about hyphenating and we joked about just swapping last names--he likes mine better; I prefer his.  In the end, changing my name to his is the most convenient option, and my inner child has a real penchant for laziness.

I don't mean to sound casual about such a serious decision, and I would certainly never tell another woman what she should do about this--I can't think of a less negative word for it--dilemma.  I just ended up doing what everyone who loves me suggested--I made the choice that was the best fit for me.

~~~~~~~

*Sometimes I like to ask myself, "What would Ma Ingalls do?"  More and more, though, I find myself running into situations that sweet, capable Caroline never for the life of her could have imagined.  Then I have to ask, instead, "What would I do?"  And then I do it.

what to say

While most of our wedding planning has been humming along happily, there is one department that's really come to what I'd have to call a screeching halt.  I'm embarrassed to say that I still don't have a very concrete idea of what our ceremony is going to look like--or sound like.

I thought the "words" part of this whole thing was going to be so easy.  And in a way, it is.  I say one thing, he says another thing, the officiant says a final thing, and them--bam!--we're hitched.  The thing is, it's hard to know what everyone should actually say.  Should we say Lutheran things, for my family?  Or Baptist things, for his?  Or should we just use civil ceremony language, as though a Justice of the Peace were calling the shots?

Of course, there's a world of ideas out there.  Just Google "wedding ceremony script," if you'd like to have your mind blown by the possibilities.

And then there are the readings.  We thought it would be nice to have a few.  Partially in the spirit of  celebration.  Also because we thought it might be a little rude to have a wedding ceremony that was three minutes long.  Especially for the people who are traveling two thousand miles to join us.

I just can't figure out what to use.  It's starting to seem pretty likely that we'll have a reading from the Bible.  After that, though, I'm kind of at a loss.  Dr. Seuss?  Shakespeare?  Is there a text that really defines us as a couple?  Maybe, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's the script from an episode of The Office.  Or maybe, I don't know, The Simpsons.

Of course, just like everything else, this is something that we'll eventually figure out.  In the meantime, though, I'm totally open to ideas.  Unless it's Shakespeare.  Because I love Will, but at a wedding, his words always sound less like brilliance, and more like cliche.  And honestly, I think I'm still scarred from dissecting Sonnet 116 in Mr. Watts' AP English class...

{Okay, and honestly, what I really want to find--and don't you dare laugh--is the perfect reading from The Little House on the Prairie books.  I accidentally started reading These Happy Golden Years the other day, and now I'm just incredibly fascinated by the love stories in Laura Ingalls Wilders' books.  I haven't read them since I was eight or nine, and--who knew?--it turns out that Ma and Pa Ingalls were, like, totally in love.  And Almanzo Wilder?  Absolutely dreamy.  Enough of all this Twilight nonsense, those folks out on the prairie totally had it going on.

A birthday or two ago, my partner-in-crime got me all the LHotP books.  They're all different editions, spanning four or five decades.  My favorite cover is from These Happy Golden Years.  It's the 1956 edition, I think, and it's just beautiful.  Garth Williams was a genius...}