I spent the better part of today doing things that are extremely outside my comfort zone. To begin with, I bought some makeup--for the first time in about a decade. This required actually going to a makeup counter and asking questions about makeup. Also, letting an incredibly up-beat twenty-something put makeup on my face. This was all much more nerve-wracking than I can begin to describe here.
And then, there are the shoes. I spent all day today looking for a pair of shoes. I don't understand why this part has become so difficult. It's not like I'm after something outrageous. My criteria are pretty simple: Flats, probably in a neutral color, probably leather, without any buckles or bows or little metal studs in them. Also, no extra-pointy toes. Just nice normal shoes.
Apparently, these shoes exist only in my imagination. I've looked everywhere. The thrift store, the Internet, and now every store within walking distance of downtown Seattle. I went into stores I've never ventured into before, some of which I'm embarrassed to actually name here.
Along with all the trendy teen stores, I tried the big department stores, too. And that's where I found my dream shoes.
I know, the Swarovski crystals are kind of breaking the "no buckles or bows" rule. I don't care. I still want them.
And I can't have them. I know that. I knew it before I tried them on. (And allow me to emphasize here: This afternoon, I put my dirty little feet in a pair of shoes that are allegedly worth more than the pittance that is currently masquerading as our honeymoon fund. Absolutely crazy.) The whole thing was definitely a lesson, though, in why you should not try on clothes that you have no intention of buying. Once the saleslady put those fancy little princess shoes on my feet, it was very, very hard to take them off again.
I don't like that I'm angsting over things like makeup and expensive shoes. It makes me worry that all this wedding silliness might be compromising the woman I think I am.
Which is why I fully intend to spend the rest of my weekend gardening and cooking good food and hanging out with my man and figuring out how to make a wedding "headpiece" out of three dollar's worth of fabric remnants from Jo-Ann Fabrics. Because that is exactly the kind of woman I want to be.