19 May 2010
In retrospect, this post really should have come a long time ago. I know I've mentioned the fact that my man has single-handedly crafted our invitations, facilitated our heart-making adventure, and chosen our wedding colors--or lack thereof. But maybe I haven't been totally up front about how involved he's been in the other departments, too.
We've been collaborating on almost every aspect of the wedding planning. This hasn't been a big surprise to me. Right from the start, I fully expected to share the fun--and the challenges--of putting together a big party that also happens to be a celebration of our commitment to one another.
What has been surprising to me, though, is that many people--even a few who know us--have been under the impression that the wedding is my territory. They assume that the decisions we've made are my decisions and that while I'm struggling with catering contracts and difficult bridesmaids, my man is quietly cheering me on from his (imaginary) armchair.
Apparently, the stereotype of the well-meaning but generally clueless groom is alive and well. While I think it's all pretty silly--this is the twenty-first century, people--I do understand where all the misconceptions come from. I recently met a groom-to-be who simply shrugged his shoulders when his sister asked where he and his bride were registered.
I think it's sad, really. That shoulder-shrugging guy is totally missing out on what could be a pretty good time with his special lady friend. Planning a wedding together is a little bit like building a house. Except maybe with more drinking and dancing at the end. Oh, and funny clothes.
Lucky for me--and lots of other girls out there--plenty of grooms are stepping up. For every shoulder-shrugger, there's a guy who's booking venues and loading ipods with cocktail hour music. Some of them are even blogging. It all makes good sense to me. The marriage isn't supposed to rely on the hopes and energies of just one person. Why should the wedding need to?
So, with all that said, here is my over-due thank you to my partner-in-crime: Thank you for being an active participant in this little adventure we've undertaken. I won't say that I owe you--because that would imply that I think the whole wedding thing ought to be my "problem" in the first place--but I will tell you that I am eternally grateful that you are the man you are. I'm genuinely looking forward to the last few weeks of this--and to the years and years that will come after.